And on and on….
Casting doubt on reports that the two teenage hookers, incriminating laptop, pile of Ukrainian-sourced cash, and spilled cocaine found yesterday at the White House has anything to do with Hunter Biden. Instead, they say, the story “has all the classic earmarks of a Russian information operation.”
While the letter’s signatories presented no evidence, they said their national security experience had made them “deeply suspicious that the Russian government played a significant role in this case” and cited several elements of the story that suggested the Kremlin’s hand at work.
“We suspect that Putin’s technicians may have built a Hunter Biden android that can snort cocaine, bang underage hookers, snag payoffs from Ukrainian oligarchs, and deliver bundles of cash to The Big Guy at the White House,” explained John Brennan, the letter’s lead signatory.
“Since the android would be indistinguishable from the real Hunter Biden, including the fingerprints, the fact that Hunter’s fingerprints have been found all over the cash, coke, and hookers, not to mention the laptop, just adds credence to our theory.”
Citing the intelligence officials’ letter, social media companies have banned discussion of the scandal, while the Department of Homeland Security has announced it will punish satirists who mention it, even in jest, by cutting off their intern.